Monday, May 27, 2013

Hey, you. Yes, you. I recall you to forget. I recall you to remember and forgive. No, not you. Not you the one who came into my life once, but it is. It is what it is, what I call with "fragment of memories".

Here I read a National Geographic magazine (November 2007), titled "Memory: Why We Remember, Why We Forget". It's a dusty one in my book shelf. After read it I just want to write a last nice thing for you. Really, this is the last note for you.

You came into my life in 2011. When my freedom was just given back to me. When I didn't think about love at all, when I was really satisfied with my life. You were there, sittin on a veil bed and looked at me. You gave your hand. we smiled. We played, we eat on a banana leafs. Then you texted me, and meet again under rainbow organization.

In Ramadhan, when we struggled with passion, you introduced me a whole new world: an adventure. We hiked, we got into truck. We turned ideas into reality, we held action against government, we put our hands high. And then you said you love what we're doing and ask that simple thing: "let me stay beside you?".

We hiked to the coolest place I've ever seen (until now). You held my hand and said "open your eyes". Mandalawangi. We hiked to the place that I've been dreamed of. Krakatau. You pulled my body when the sea strucked me. We walked into the middle of nowhere, Sei Wain, East Kalimantan. You said "hey, why don't we just try to go another place, and go again, again, until we don't want it anymore."

So, we hiked again. Lawu, Salak, Galunggung, Telomoyo, Jagatkartta, Situgunung, and Semeru. Twice. Semeru. What an amazing name, as I wrote in my blog before. You showed me that I can do it. We walked, Angke, Baduy, Bodogol, Dieng, Parangkusumo, Tidung, Bira, Harapan, Pari, Ranca Upas, Bengkulu, Blitar, Jogjakarta, Solo, Malang.
You showed me the wonderland: Indonesia.

We watched movies, we shared favorite music. Float, Kings of Convenience, The Trees and The Wild, Coldplay, Sufjan Stevens. We talked about same books-same authors, Agustinus Wibowo, Soe Hok Gie. We have so many same things to be shared. We just have no difference.

Through a thousand miles, one and a half of year, hundreds of stories, friends, photos, and writings, I'll let you stay in a fragment of memories.

Now, I have fulfilled my last responsibility. I have to keep on goin. With my life, and you - with your life. There's nothing to be forgiven again.

When we know someone, at first time we met him, we have to realize that he will go someday. So I just get my moment now.

We watched "UP" movies. I know you remember this: "Thanks for the adventure. Now go and have a new one."

I'll get mine, and you have-you really have to get yours.

This note is my memory about you. I have recalled it to forget you.
As Chris Johns wrote in National Geographic Magazine: "Memory, perishable and enduring, it's a brain archive. Its loss can be cruel, but remember this: It is through memory that we hold on to those we love."
Maggie Stabber also wrote: "She disappears from my view before my very eyes. With each day she nears the horizon she will reach alone, leaving me with only memories, precious memories, of her long, last journey."

This is the end of our journey. Let me be myself again, before I met you.
I thank to you, and want to say the same closing statement as Raditya Dika ever wrote in his book:
"Ya, aku sudah melupakan kamu."

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