Fresh Wind & Green Grass

Lincoln Memorial Monument, Washington D.C.

Human always loves stories. We are a species that deeply embraces stories in our civilization. A major example: is holy books. Bible, Quran, or Mahabharata contain stories. I personally also love stories. My very first book, which I read when I was aged 2, was a story about a trapped dolphin in a fishnet (and now science proves a link between storybooks that we read when we were kids to our pro-environmental behavior in adulthood; this might be one example). Later when I was in elementary school, my dad bought me a book on Indonesian folklore, and I fell in love with that book. Without any conscious choice, I choose a career path in storytelling. My first job was to be a data storyteller, my second job was to be a digital campaign storyteller, my third job was to be a Komodo dragon storyteller, and now my fourth job, I am happy to declare that I am a climate change slash environment slash wildlife storyteller. And here I am, stealing some hours at the office to join a transmedia storytelling MOOC by UNSW and writing my daily life stories (oddly, with the knowledge of my boss).

In the last few days, I often re-read my old blog posts between the period of 2010-2012. I noticed that something big happened to me within this period, and it was life-changing. However, I don't remember what it was in particular. But judging from my writings, I think it was my college and organizational life. Taking a degree in psychology from the oldest Faculty of Psychology in Indonesia really had an impact on shaping my attitude toward many things. Plus, I never took any serious commitment to the organization in my faculty. I kicked myself out of my comfort zone and worked with people from various backgrounds at a moderately young age. That gave me a lot of stories to tell and experiences to be shared. And I think that was essential for a storyteller: getting the context, explanation, and daily life example.

Another thing that I just realized is that I finished my master's thesis using one of the big theories whose foundation was laid by Carl Jung (if you barely know him, the MBTI or 16 personalities measurement was based on his theory), named "Archetype". Archetype is a classic theory that's been used by so many storytellers across communication industries to build a story. The Male Divinity, Father, and Hero Journey were even used to build Darth Vader's character in Star Wars. I remember the hard times learning this classic theory, I was helped by a wonderful crash course on YouTube, and it helped me to ditch all of my confusion about Carl Jung's interpretation of world mythologies. Jung's books are really hard to understand (for me) because - to be honest, I am not a fan of his works. I often refer him as a psychic when I was an undergrad student. So finding a storyteller about storytelling really helped me out. The main job was to find proper archetypes for a Rusa timorensis character as my experimental instrument. Another funny thing - building a story about deer in 2013 was also the start of my connection with a best friend.

My admiration of stories is the beginning of how I fall for my boyfriend. My boyfriend is extremely good at history, a very classical person. When he was a little boy, he played piano. He grew up with parents who played The Beatles at home and grandparents who gave him a big book on evolution at a very young age. He is an avid PlayStation player and founder of a quite famous toys review website. His very first book was about dinosaurs, and with all of those interests, he's becoming an exceptional storyteller. I was freaked out when I found out that he sticks the line of evolution and world history in front of his personal notebook, but that was the time that I knew that this was a man that I won't be bored with having hours of discussion with. He always throws me interesting article links or books and spares his time to tell me a story. So when I was in a bookstore with him, he was stunned by the illustrations in this book; I decided to buy it - while he decided to buy another two books. We often do this - then we will share with each other what's in our books.

After I read the illustrated book, I was stunned by how different Greek and Asian mythologies are. For a note, my editor friend once told me that how mythology differs from legend is through the artifact. Legend has a real artifact, for example, a place or a stone, while mythology has none. I find that I am less enamored with Greek mythology. It's an epic full of lust, wrath, and fear of losing power. How Zeus always cheats on Hera and has kids with as many women as he wants, how Iason betrays his promise to make Medeia the love of his life, or how Gaia tries so hard to make Uranus happy so she keeps giving birth to another child.... and many others. I prefer stories that revolve around daily life challenges, such as Princess Kaguya or The Tale of Ox Leather Sandals. I think the problem is just me, as I don't favor fiction books than non-fiction (Agatha Christie is an exception); I grow fond of real-life hero journey stories like John Nash, Carl Sagan, Wiji Thukul, Buddha, Dian Fossey, Mohammad Hatta, and others. I second a line in Captain Fantastic movie that we should celebrate the life of real people rather than celebrate the life of fictional characters. I was happy that I got the chance to visit the Washington DC National Mall* and the parks around where the memorial statues of big leaders in the US were located. Standing in front of each memorial and reading their own stories really brought me into desolation.

I personally think that mythology helps our ancestors and us to build an ideal self of human beings, our deepest desire. Meanwhile, in fact, real-life stories help us realize our actual selves. From the side of psychology, it is healthy to maintain the gap recognition between our ideal self and actual self. What matter next is our effort to move our actual self forward to be closer to our actual self.

It is a lifetime attempt we'll never know what the success parameter is.

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*mall here is not a shopping place but a large, open area for people to gather

The Vatican at Night

My boyfriend always complains if I mention him as an artist. He has a rigid distinction between artist and designer - and he chooses to be the latter one. In his humble opinion, the artwork is something multi-interpretative, and it really depends on the eye of the beholder. Sometimes, the psychological condition of the audiences also contributes to defining the art they see. On the other hand, the designer is someone who helps audiences to understand a matter with ease and hopes to help their life get easier, too. For him, good designers are those who provide beautiful yet memorable and usable things. As an impact, he is not a fan of art installations and galleries because he has trouble getting the meaning of an artwork, and he feels helpless every time he's in it. And for months, we have had good times together both outdoors and indoors, but we never visit an art exhibition together.

I got a clear picture of his stance after finishing a book by Don Norman, The Design of Everyday Things. In this book, Norman brilliantly explains how to design failures happen every time, everywhere. He invented "The Norman Door", a condition when you find bad doors which you can't identify whether you should pull or push. He also notes that if you don't understand how something works, don't blame yourself - blame the designer. I actually bought this book because my boss asked me if I am interested in being more involved in our Human-Centered Design projects, but after finishing this book, it even gets me into a bigger question that I need to answer: have I been a good designer at work?

I've been designing for conservation and environmental issue since 2011 - around 8 years already. I remember that my first masterpiece was the symbol of Greenpeace Youth, a subgroup of young activists of Greenpeace Indonesia. Back in 2012, I was actively engaged with a bunch of energetic young people who were willing to spare their busy time at college to do something for the environment. It came to my surprise that when I visited the Greenpeace office in Jakarta in 2018, a big banner of this logo was still in their big meeting room. I was proud, but then re-questioning myself if this design represents the group and is able to explain to the audience what the group fights for without the need to explain? But then I remember times when my boyfriend critiqued me when I was designing tourism and a Komodo dragon flyer for Komodo National Park; he emphasized that what matters in design is that the audiences understand. Extravagant drawings or colors might help our design to be stunning - but sometimes, it doesn't help at all.

Campuhan Ridge Walk

I just got the best New Year's Eve last night. I sat in a dining room with a really good friend who is more than 10 years older than me, with a dog, pizza, and a bottle of white wine. When dinner was over, we watched simple TV series on Netflix. Talking with this person always makes me feel like heavy baggage has been lifted from my chest. I am grateful that I have a friend who agrees that solitude is a privilege. Some time ago, I was "forced" to not like myself: an ultimate introvert who enjoys being alone at home. That doesn't mean that I don't have friends; I have, and it turns out they are just like me. We hate spending time with people whom we don't originally want to spend time with, just because they work in the same place as us or an extended family. We choose our friends deliberately, and I want the person who loves me, will understand that.

At midnight, I asked if my good friend had any resolution for 2019.
"Nothing. Just finishing my 2012's resolution."
And we went to bed.

I can count that I had four major heartbreak in 2018, and I was reminded last night that I have to be grateful for 'em. Nothing to be cried for anymore; each of them has taught me a big lesson. Whether it was about men, death, or didn't get accredited for my scientific work. I was a fool; no, I wasn't. It's just that I was someone else than the person I see in my mirror today. Within the past few days in the end year holidays, I watched one Peruvian and two French movies from Netflix, which really helped me to get over these problems with myself. I recommend you take your time alone to watch these movies. Especially if you are a woman struggling to fight over patriarchal problems and need support.

First is Soltera Codiciada, a hilarious movie with beautiful color palettes in every scene. The premise of this movie is simple, yet, the dialogues and imagery are rich. This movie really captures what typical girls do when they are brokenhearted, but it makes me realize that no woman should leave anything they have (a career or a life) for a man. A woman should stop to try only to make their boyfriend happy but feels okay when her boyfriend doesn't put in the same effort. When the man says that it is not equal to compare his girlfriend's career in Lima with his scholarship in Madrid, the woman says it is equal. The problem is, the man just won't leave his life for her woman and force her to follow him so he won't be lonely and cheating.

The second movie is Je ne suis pas un homme facile, which portrays a parallel universe where women are the superior gender, and a Don Juan-sexist man is someday stranded in this universe and realize that he is the inferior gender. Women drive him, flirt with him, leave him when they know that he doesn't wax, cheat on him, and lie to him. Men who voice out their rights are called the "masculist," and powerful women hate them - and even make fun of them. This man falls in love with a woman who rejects him in his original universe. In this matriarchal universe, she is a bestselling novel author - not a secretary to a novelist in his universe and sleeps with so many men in Paris, leaving them the day after. This movie brings the possible inequality cause to the spotlight: whichever gender that is superior to another will start to behave unpleasantly to the opposite. Both genders should work together and learn how to respect each other. I hope someday Indonesia will be able to catch up with Iceland in this regard.

Last but not least, the Le Jeu. Seven friends having dinner on a moon eclipse night, playing a game by putting all mobile phones on the table, and whichever phone rings, the owner should read out loud the message or answer the call. I learned from this movie that truth is indeed painful, and we always have the choice: living as usual and letting the lies there happen without us knowing, letting the lies beneath our relationship and suppress them, or - revealing all the truth, leaving the relationship, left broken, and go away with it. I prefer the last choice, and yes, we all have a choice. As behavioral economics has taught me that our brain deceives us to feel more pain when we lose something greater than happy when we obtain equal numbers, it is better to lose once and big than to lose none but get none as well.

So this is my resolution in 2019:
I will look forward to life without regretting things that happened in 2018, get away with it, stay strong, and not to discuss again how my significant others have broken me.
I know that it took months, places, and many new friends to heal, but I do also recognize that it's worth the result.
To provide spaces for new memory, we need to eliminate old memories. To omit the old memories, we need to create new memories. All goes around.
These people have helped me to get stronger, to say hi to the better version of me, and also to consider better choices in life.
I know we always get thrilled when we come into new places or get into a new adventure, so let's get into the new year and write new stories!

Salute!

©boyfriend